Wow... I don't know if today was a disaster or exactly the opposite.

It was registration day at my high school. I had to be there all day, of course, because I am the treasurer of the Gay/Straight Alliance. Because of that I had to tell people that they should join and that, because Zoe, Abby, and myself were the new officers, it was going to be tons of fun.

Now, while I was doing this, I also went around just randomly saying hi to people I knew. These people included some of my previous teachers (one that would also be a future one as well -- Mr. Sam Brown). So, when I was over with Mr. Brown he was asking me if I knew some of the people he was talking to, because they were going to be in my third period world lit class (where he was the teacher of course). Of course, I didn't know any of the people... And when I say any, I mean the two that he asked me, "Do you know this guy/girl?"

The first girl he introduced to me seemed familiar (I think she might've been in my Spanish I class last year), but the other boy didn't seem familiar at all... Although, I had been eying him throughout registration. He was tall and muscular with blond, spiky hair, brown eyes, and the most gorgeous smile I've ever seen. Yes, even more gorgeous than mine. Haha.

Now... this introduction of this boy brought a very interesting conversation to the table... Er, place where the three of us were standing rather...

"Do you two know each other?" Mr. Brown asked and then walked away.

I flashed a smile at this guy, ready to walk back towards the table that GSA shared with the literary magazine (Runes)/Writer's Circle.

Of course, before I was able to walk away, he turned to me and asked, "Hey, do I know you?"

Now, this puzzled me. "I don't know," I said.

"Don't you live on my street?"

"Uh," I said (really puzzled now). "I don't know. What street are we talking about?"

"[Insert my street here -- this is the web, I'm not giving you my street name]," he said.

Now I was shocked, but I recovered quickly. "Yea!" I exclaimed. "I do!"

"I'm Addison," he said.

"I'm Leah," I said.

"What?" He said, not seeming to have understood me.

"I'm Leah," I said a little louder.

"Oh, I thought you said your name was Emaleah, and I was like, what?" He said with a laugh.

At this point, one of my not-really-friends-even-though-she-thinks-she-is (Mina) came over to me and started listening to our conversation. She had linked arms with me of course... Something I hadn't wanted her to do.

"Didn't we used to hang out --"

"A long time ago," I said in unison with him as I began remembering the days when he and I used to ride our bikes up and down the street together. This left me in more of a shocked disposition! I thought Addison had moved! I mean, I hadn't seen him in years. Not on the street or at school or anything. It was absolutely astounding that we were finally meeting each other once again.

Now, right after both Addison and I had spoken together, Mina smiled and said, "Oh, you guys are perfect each other! -- Finishing each other's sentences..." Oh, how I just wanted to hit her so, so badly.

Of course, then we got into the subject of classes and grades where I found out that he was supposed to be a junior, but they had put him in sophomore classes. He also called Mr. Brown by his first name (Sam), which made me wonder why...

So, we said our goodbyes and see you laters before leaving each other at twelve thirty-ish for home... And when I left for home, I didn't leave alone. Abby came with me... At around five, Abby and I started getting hungry, so we were going to go walk to the Mellow Mushroom in Decatur. Then I, being the stupid person that I am, suggested that we go to Addison's house and see if he wanted to come with us. So, of course, we did. When we got there, I rang the doorbell and, even before the door was opened, was confronted (through the thin windows surrounding the front door) with one of his (already signature) smiles. The door was opened not only by him though, but also by his mother... Which made it amazingly awkward. I paused for a moment after saying hello, and then said, "Me and my friend were going to go to the Mellow Mushroom and we were wondering if Addison wanted to come with us." Turns out he couldn't because he was going to a "old man's party." Shrugging, we said, "Ok, that's cool," and left.

And after that I couldn't stop thinking about him! He was just there! In my mind! All the time!

So, because of this slight obsession (not the crush kind, just a "where has he been all this time?" kind of obsession), Abby and I decided he had been homeschooled because we had never seen him in the halls last year and he had called Mr. Brown by his first name. Who would call a teacher by their first name unless you had gone to a really flexible school like DSA or Paideai OR you knew that teacher personally?

And here, I end it. Because, I have nothing else to say... I don't have anything to say. I just hope he doesn't take me as a sort of stalker-type, but just an old friends who wants to become friends again.

-Leah

It's been a while... I guess. I've been... Busy? I guess that's a good word to use. Just... hanging out with Nick, my friends... But not all of them. Not Zoe. My best friend. Other than Abby of course. But she's been.... I don't even know how to explain it. Except through the conversations I've had with other people.

Conversation #1
Dakota/Leah

l e a h: Dakota...? Do you know if Abby's awake?
D a k o t a: Dont think so.. I got back just as she went offline. >.<
l e a h: Oh well. :'(
D a k o t a: Whats wrong? O.o
l e a h: Nothing... I'm just really upset right now. >.<
D a k o t a: Leaah. Thats so uncool.
l e a h : What?
D a k o t a: You. Upset. Not flying with me. Whats wrong?
l e a h: ... Nothing... I mean... -sigh- The realization that I'm losing touch with Zoe (the only other best, best friend of mine -- other than Abby) just hit me... While I was watching the Wall-E trailer. Don't ask. And... We haven't talked, like, really talked In about a month and a half And I just miss her so much... But she's been hanging out with her new boyfriend. And all these friends of hers that I don't like very much... And we're sposed to spend a bunch of time together in the next few weeks especially since we're going to Florida together, but... I'm just really upset about all of this. I don't know what to do.
D a k o t a: Have you even mentioned this to her?
l e a h: Before school ended I mentioned that we weren't as close as we were... And she brought up the fact that that's probably because we don't have much in common anymore since (supposedly) the only real thing that we had in common was our boyfriends...And how they were bestfriends...And just since then we haven't been spending as much time together. And now I'm partially blaming myself...Because I kind of stopped talking to her when Nick and I started talking on the phone more often.
D a k o t a: For one, Taking the blame for it is a bad thing, but it shows you accept stuff. So thats some kudos to you. 2..
l e a h: ...Thank you? >.<
D a k o t a: Honestly? If you 2 really do get into that hanging out stuff with her.. Should probably see if any sort of connection is there.
l e a h: >.< I'm supposed to see her next weekend...
D a k o t a: Friendships are like relationships, Leah. Sometimes It takes a certain spark to re-kindle.
l e a h: Friendships are a kind of relationship hon. >.< And yes, I know. And I know that spark is there... Because we hung out with Abby and her boyfriend about a month ago and I remember telling Zoe how much I missed spending time together. Because we were having so much fun.
D a k o t a: For a second I thought you said Abbys boyfriend, I was like, wait, what?
l e a h: >.<
D a k o t a: But yeah. That prooves it.
l e a h: Noooo. Yea I guess I've just been over reacting... But I'm probably going to continue to do that until I talk to her myself.
D a k o t a: I honestly think you aren't over reacting. Genuin thing to be worried about.
l e a h: Wait... we should be worried about the fact that you don't think I'm over reacting?
D a k o t a: Noo Noo.
l e a h: >.<
D a k o t a: You aren't over reacting about the zoe thing. You have a right to be this worried. lol
l e a h: That makes sense. lol. Ok I'm just going to have to talk to her... Get her over at my place Time for another sleepover with cock cookies. :) Don't ask

Conversation #2
Abby/Leah

l e a h says: And Abby...
{ . a b b y . } says: ?
l e a h says: I'm going to send you a conversation Dakota and I had last night Cause I wanted to talk to you
{ . a b b y . } ...
l e a h says: But you weren't on :'(
{ . a b b y . } says: Okay.
l e a h says: -cut/pasted version of the Dakota/Leah conversation goes HERE- And that's basically it...We just then went on to the conversation of cock cookies >.< But I'm really feeling detached from Zoe.. Like... I was talking to Nick and then I realized Wall-E was coming out and then I went to go watch the trailer. It made me think about Zoe and how she wanted to see it with Alex...
{ . a b b y . } says: You guys could do a double date?
l e a h says: Even though I thought that it would be a perfect "let's go and think of new inside Leah/Zoe jokes" movie. Now we are double dating. This Saturday. But it still won't be the same. But the thing is...
{ . a b b y . } says: Then do a private sleepover after that?
l e a h says: I started crying Abigail.
{ . a b b y . } says: ..
l e a h says: On the phone.
{ . a b b y . } says: Cyring?
l e a h says: With Nick.
{ . a b b y . } says: Crying** Why? :(
l e a h says: Because I really do miss her.
{ . a b b y . } says: Then call her!
l e a h says: Before the school ended I even talked about how I missed hanging out with her so much..
{ . a b b y . } says: Plan to have a sleepover on Saturday night after the datw! date*
l e a h says: And then she said something about how we don't have much in common anymore.
{ . a b b y . } says: :(
l e a h says: Because we had our boyfriends in common last summer. Chance and Andre were best friends.
{ . a b b y . } says: I know..
l e a h says: She's hanging out with new people, which I want her to do... But I just feel as if I've been pushed to the side... And that I'm also the reason for that. Because I started talking to Nick more than her. And I just miss her.
{ . a b b y . } says: You said 'people you don't like' or something along the lines of that... can you elaborate?
l e a h says: I miss her so, so much. Chelsea. Eden.
{ . a b b y . } says: .. Chelsea and Eden? She's hanging out with them?
l e a h says: People I've never really gotten along with.
{ . a b b y . } says: O.o
l e a h says: Yes. She is.
{ . a b b y . } says: Since when? O.o
l e a h says: She talks to them. She's good friends with Chelsea supposedly.
{ . a b b y . } says: ...
l e a h says: Everytime I say something about how I don't like Chelsea, she says something like, "I'm not getting into this...Chelsea's my friend." Then we change the subject.. At least, we used to when we actually talke.d talked*
{ . a b b y . } says: Leah.
l e a h says: And whenever I used to try to get her to hang out with me...
{ . a b b y . } says: You can't change who she hangs out with, but you CAN change how much the two of YOU hang out... So call her. Plan to have a sleepover after the date and make cock cookies and laugh about your movie jokes.
l e a h says: I want to have her over Wednesday.
{ . a b b y . } says: -nods-
l e a h says: But I haven't asked yet.
{ . a b b y . } says: ASK! Seriously, Leah. Plan something for the two of you <3
l e a h says: Ok.
{ . a b b y . } says: And don't get too upset about this..
l e a h says: Too late.
{ . a b b y . } says: Leahhhh. All you guys need to do is make time to hang out with each other ♥She's upset about the lack of time being spent with you too.
l e a h says: How do you know?
{ . a b b y . } says: ..She told me back when school was almost over.
l e a h says: Wow. Two months Or is that one? Wow. One month. Doesn't seem like either of us has done much about it.
{ . a b b y . } says: So TRY. Seriously. Emalee and I go to different SCHOOLS and we're still best friends because I never stopped calling her. Even when it felt like we were growing apart, I talked to her about it, and I said that we both needed to work to keep the friendship together.
l e a h says: I'm not good with that.
{ . a b b y . } says: So she called me, and I called her.. and we updated each other on our lives.
l e a h says: I'm not good with keeping friendships together
{ . a b b y . } says: ... What?
l e a h says: I've moved around too much to try and even think I can try.
{ . a b b y . } says: Leah, if it means enough to you, you'll do it. That's all I can say.
l e a h says: I called her yesterday. About the amp And the foot peddle Because she was the first one I thought of
{ . a b b y . } says: And..
l e a h says: And we talked for five seconds. And she had to go.. But it's her week with Macie and Katelynn.. I guess I understand.
{ . a b b y . } says: Aren't you guys going to Destin together?
l e a h says: Yea I'm expecting that to be: Leah/Zoe time during the day -- "I'm going to go talk to Alex now" during the night
{ . a b b y . } says: I mean...
l e a h says: I'm sounding selfish And I know it
{ . a b b y . } says: You kind of have to stand aside and let her hang onto someone that's making her genuinely happy after all this time :/ I did that for you.. I've done that for everybody. You don't sound selfish though.
l e a h says: But right now I feel like I'd be willing to give up Nick for a week just to hang out with her...
{ . a b b y . } says: You sound human.
l e a h says: I sound greedy I want her to myself.
{ . a b b y . } says: And that's understandable, Leah. Just talk to her. It's better to talk about this with HER than with me, Dakota, or Nick. Because we've all given the same advice. CALL her. Hang onto the friendship that's gotten you through so much this long.
l e a h says: Anything I say isn't going to give her the intensity of how much I miss her.
{ . a b b y . } says: Then send her these conversations. Because you've shown ME :/
l e a h says: I need a tissue... br brb*haskjfga
{ . a b b y . } says: Mmkay <3
l e a h says: back I look horrible >.<
{ . a b b y . } says: That's okay, nobody's watching <3
l e a h says: :| I didn't want that smiley to come up >.<
{ . a b b y . } says: lol <3333 Leah, seriously. You HAVE to call her and talk to her if you feel this way. There's no other way to fix it.. It doesn't happen by magic. If she has no idea that you're this torn up about it, then it can't be fixed.
l e a h says: I feel like I felt when Gracie disappeared.
{ . a b b y . } says: :(
l e a h says: I've haven't cried this much since then Abby.
{ . a b b y . } says: Then you really can't let this friendship die. Stop thinking that you're not good at hanging onto friends and do what even you think is impossible. Because it obviously matters a lot. Call your best friend before she slips away.
l e a h says: I'm not going to be able to say what I need to say, "Zoe, I miss you." Wow. What a shocker. I'm going to talk to her.
{ . a b b y . } says: Don't hold back. Seriously. Show her your emotions :/ If you're gonna cry, then cry.
l e a h says: But I'm also going to send her this...this just showed all of my emotions right now. Except you can't see the tears through a computer. That's all.
{ . a b b y . } says: I can picture them :P
l e a h says: ... I just left a message... On her machine... Telling her I missed her... That's all I was going to say before I was going to say "Just call me back" but then I burst out in major tears
{ . a b b y . } says: :(
l e a h says: So she's heard my emotions...
{ . a b b y . } says: Mmhmm..
l e a h says: And she'll see them too I guess.
{ . a b b y . } says: Which is good. I'm glad you left a message, Leah <3
l e a h says: mm' mmm*
{ . a b b y . } says: You should probably go to bed, dearie.
l e a h says: Yea... I probably should. I'm going to go read I guess.
{ . a b b y . } says: <3333 Enjoy the book <3\

I haven't felt like breaking down in tears every few moments in a really long time. I just hope i can fix this.

-Leah